Journal

I've been on a roll. Five hundred words an hour, throwing caution to the wind and letting my instincts dictate what happens next. It's great because it's progress. Nevertheless, there's an internal conflict between my editing self and my writing self. Even then, I've come up with a good way to compromise between the two. To preface the above, this is the kind of reckless writing I used to do when I started writing stories. The only difference is that I was unwilling to be the ruthless editor younger Ma-El needed. This changed somewhere, some time, I don't know when. I became hellbent on perfection, managing a meager ten words a night; ten on a good night, that is. To be completely honest with you, I've only begun getting out of this just a few days ago. One evening, I decided to say "screw it." I wrote word after word based off what I felt was the natural flow of how the chapter developed instead of trying to engineer the best scene. After that

It's been a rough week so far. I've been away from my computer, lacking sleep, and just generally feeling like crap. No surprise that I haven't been able to write as much. Now, I'm not sure whether I've mentioned this in previous entries, but my stable routine requires discipline and that's something I've not been able to muster. I'll bounce back but man it sure sucks when you're stuck in the mud. One thing I need to get off my chest is that I watched 'Love, Simon' today. It's a good movie and for now I can only imagine how good the book is. However, I can't help shake the anxiety that follows after experiencing good stories, especially the ones that are successful. There's a twist in my gut that makes me want to be at that point already. Slumps like these make it hard not to be impatient, to be across that finish line, to be on top of the mountain. This is that point in time where watching something like Love, Simon invites dea

Rather slow progress over the past few days. I'm facing conflicting ideas, not really feeling how the chapter will play out. At this rate, it's the best time to move back into outline writing.