Novel Update #05
It's been a rough week so far. I've been away from my computer, lacking sleep, and just generally feeling like crap. No surprise that I haven't been able to write as much. Now, I'm not sure whether I've mentioned this in previous entries, but my stable routine requires discipline and that's something I've not been able to muster. I'll bounce back but man it sure sucks when you're stuck in the mud.
One thing I need to get off my chest is that I watched 'Love, Simon' today. It's a good movie and for now I can only imagine how good the book is. However, I can't help shake the anxiety that follows after experiencing good stories, especially the ones that are successful. There's a twist in my gut that makes me want to be at that point already. Slumps like these make it hard not to be impatient, to be across that finish line, to be on top of the mountain. This is that point in time where watching something like Love, Simon invites deafening whispers at the back of my head. Toxic, as its always been. "What have you done lately. You said you'd be done by September, it's December now. You've only written a couple of hundred words this week. You're making every mistake in the book. Ha. A pun." The list goes on.
There's so much riding on my shoulders for The Ethics of Demons to be my big break. It would mean the world to me despite me jumping more steps ahead than I should. What this spells is: I don't fear finishing my manuscript; I fear letting down the story that has possessed me to write it for the past nine years. To top it off, I know people who doubt me. On good days, when the ball is rolling, it's a well of motivation. On its worst, it's something I lament on.
Sigh. It's been a rough week, but this is still much better than the first half of this year. I was lost then and now I'm not.
One thing I need to get off my chest is that I watched 'Love, Simon' today. It's a good movie and for now I can only imagine how good the book is. However, I can't help shake the anxiety that follows after experiencing good stories, especially the ones that are successful. There's a twist in my gut that makes me want to be at that point already. Slumps like these make it hard not to be impatient, to be across that finish line, to be on top of the mountain. This is that point in time where watching something like Love, Simon invites deafening whispers at the back of my head. Toxic, as its always been. "What have you done lately. You said you'd be done by September, it's December now. You've only written a couple of hundred words this week. You're making every mistake in the book. Ha. A pun." The list goes on.
There's so much riding on my shoulders for The Ethics of Demons to be my big break. It would mean the world to me despite me jumping more steps ahead than I should. What this spells is: I don't fear finishing my manuscript; I fear letting down the story that has possessed me to write it for the past nine years. To top it off, I know people who doubt me. On good days, when the ball is rolling, it's a well of motivation. On its worst, it's something I lament on.
Sigh. It's been a rough week, but this is still much better than the first half of this year. I was lost then and now I'm not.
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